"The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." --Voltaire
I think that this quote has great power for all of us. Emotions, no matter if love or hate, anger or joy, are of no value if nothing comes of them. Anger and hate carry much destructive power within them, and thus are more the dangerous for the vessels. Anger is OK if used to fuel the work needed to correct something. Hate has its use if it protects the innocent from the wicked. But these emotions carry with them such vast amounts of energy, that if not spent, just destroy the person who is not using them. And once the benefit is gained from the action, then any destructive emotion must be let go, or it continues to fester and eat away at the soul. It is important though, to realize that each of us is in a different place in our healing journey, and that working on anger is handled differently at each stage of healing. So we must grant ourselves the right to deal with our anger in our own way, as long as it does no harm to us or to others. And we must grant each other person the respect that we would want to be shown when we were in their stage of healing.
A turning point for me was learning to deal with my anger. Once I realized that the abuse I had suffered was the result of my ex's mental illness, the anger could be put aside, for it was born of my inability to understand how someone who seemed to love me and our son so much could do the things he did. Like Indiana Jones, I could let it go. That was the start of my healing journey, a journey that was far more important than anything that had gone before. And it continues today, and will until I die. Because it is a journey, this life, and not a destination. We set goals, but they are only milestones to mark our progress.
I had the great fortune to have been raised by parents who were always looking to the future, not the past, who did not carry the past with them. Their insight resurfaced once I got out of the FOG and marched/stumbled out of Oz. And I now hope that I can share their philosophy of only looking to the future, giving up the hate and anger, and choosing to determine responsibility (including my own) rather than laying blame. I hope that I can pass it to all of you who are moving forward in your quest for peace and the life you want. There are struggles on the way, life is not fair, and there are no free lunches. But it is the journey that molds us, tests us, defines us, and eventually brings us to that place we choose to call "Home."
I pray for that Peace for all of you here. Good Journey.