Modalities

Or, Can I Solve All My Problems Online? Sometimes, Nons only support is that they find online. While this is certainly all right for a while, and is much better than nothing, it is not a complete solution. At some point, you have to reach out to those around you in the real world. One reason for this is that you have to deal with your own issues and problems in multiple modalities. We each learn in different ways. Primary modalities are vision, hearing, feelings, smell and taste. We each learn differently from these different "channels" into and out of ourselves.

Talking about your challenges in multiple modalities will help you get in touch with the key issues of the situation... writing out handwritten letters to God... to yourself... to your ex...(though you don’t need to send them)... talking on the phone... chatting... writing on computer... talking... listening... shouting at the sky/moutains... throwing rocks... all of these modalities, verbal, manual, audio, they all help... Those who have been to a gathering of Nons know that this additional modality is invaluable.

The more ways you can get things into and out of your system, the better off you will be.

So, go, talk to someone in the real world... someone you trust... it will help. You can’t hide behind your anonymity online forever... your recovery has to become part of the real you, just as it is part of the cyber you...

Nons who have taken this to heart in the past, and brought their problems to trusted people in their lives have been met with support, and often with, "I’ve known this for a long time, and have been waiting for you to talk to me about it." Sometimes, they are met with disbelief, at least temporarily, as it says in SWOE... but in our experience, when a Non approaches a friend with their problems, they are listened to and feel heard. Often they feel validated, and that’s an important feeling for you to have as a Non.

It’s a frightening thing, something like going to your first alchoholics anonymous meeting, but one of the reason those types of organizations are successful, is that they provide another "channel" for people to get things into and out of themselves. Another venue, another avenue... towards personal healing.

Think about it. If the only way you’ve learned about BPD is by reading the web, chatting or email, you have never actually HEARD one thing about BPD. This is something that you should have an interest in.

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Disclaimer: The information on this site (http://www.bpd411.org) is based on personal experiences of the authors and members of our e-mail mailing list. It is NOT meant to replace professional advice or take the place of counseling, therapy or additional personal research.