The prime directive of the owners of BPD411 is to maintain the safety of the list members. The primary mechanism by which safety is maintained is through temporary or permanent moderation. Moderation simply means that your email must be read and approved prior to it going to the list population. If Moderation does not solve the problem, the errant member will be banned.
The purpose of the list is to provide support, education, information and other resources to those involved in or affected by someone in their lives who has Borderline Personality Disorder or who displays traits of this disorder. We refer to ourselves as NonBPs, or Nons for short. (See Glossary)
Self identified BP’s will be moderated at all times.
You may not join the list of which your Significant Other is already a member. First come, first served. Multiple NonBPs from the same family may join only if the first person joining is not of the opinion that the other(s) are BPs.
Abuse of any kind will NOT be tolerated. Flaming and personal attacks will result in immediate moderation. Repeated offenses will get you banned.
Due to the nature of the list, adult language can be used if quoting your BPSO. It is NOT appropriate to use offensive language in responding to other list members.
Disagreeing with people is ok, but you can’t condemn or attack.
Respect for each other, our experiences and our life situations, will be a Given. Postings should maintain a degree of civility. While adult topics may be discussed, and conversations with BPs quoted verbatim, do not use vulgarities when responding to or addressing other list members.
List members are encouraged to offer suggestions or possible solutions, but are discouraged from telling other list members what to do. Everyone should be allowed to make their own decisions.
Privacy of list members is to be maintained. Do not re-post private e-mails to any list or any other individual. Don’t reply to a different list than where the thread originated. Do not re-post anything from these lists to other lists without the express permission of everyone being quoted. ALL identifying information including e-mail addresses, headers and the list identifiers should be removed from the message BEFORE it is re-posted anywhere else even WITH permission. Do not post things from other lists here without following these same guidelines. This is a safety issue, and is therefore very important.
Along these lines, the list is not archived. This is to provide additional privacy. It is expressly prohibited to post the contents of our list on any "archive" website. Anyone subscribing for this purpose will be immediately and permanently banned. Please respect our privacy.
Living with or being in a relationship with someone with this disorder may be unsafe in many ways. For your safety, and to preserve your privacy as much as possible, we suggest that you obtain an anonymous "hotmail" or "yahoo" address. We also suggest using a pseudonym or nickname. Choose one that no one, BPDSO or family/friends would recognize. Remember that your BPDSO or friends may get a hold of what’s on this list. While the moderators do our best to ensure that privacy is respected, it must be remembered at all times that the Internet is NOT a private place. Don’t post anything here that you would be uncomfortable seeing reprinted elsewhere.
Privacy of your BPSO’s should be maintained. Do use the real name of your BPSO on the list. Do not post information that could be used to easily identify them.
If you receive the digest version, please remove all irrelevant text from your reply. Do not quote the entire digest when replying to a post.
No spam or advertising.
We reserve the right to refuse membership on the lists to anyone for any reason. All membership requests are now manually approved before you can read or post to avoid spammers joining the list simply to send us their garbage. Please reply when the moderators contact you so that we know you are a real Non and you can be added to the list. If you do not reply within a few weeks, you will have to subscribe again to be added.
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Disclaimer: The information on this site (http://www.bpd411.org) is based on personal experiences of the authors and members of our e-mail mailing list. It is NOT meant to replace professional advice or take the place of counseling, therapy or additional personal research.
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