Stress and Parenting with a BPD Partner

Raising children is difficult enough in the best circumstances. The stresses of living with someone who has traits of BPD can increase the normal stresses and impact how effective we are as parents. For those experiencing the stress of a separation, the stresses increase again.

To get into a different frame of mind, I’m also sharing some Traditional Native American spiritual values about children. You are invited to take the ones that ‘fit’ and feel right for you and use them in a good way. Anything that doesn’t fit, please leave behind.

I don’t have all the answers, nor even most of them. I only have my experiences, shared from a good place in my heart, with the intention of sharing with you, and offering some new ideas, new perspectives, and, maybe, just maybe, some hope. Sometimes in the middle of dealing with the BPD crazies, we lose sight of the fact that our children are precious, gifts, and that they will only be children for a little while.

The following are Traditional Truths, attitudes and values with which help us to get back in touch with to develop and maintain healthy, positive relationships with our children:

Women, by birth, share the ability to create new life, with our Mother, the Earth. Children are a special gift given to us by our Creator.
Children are seen as being closer to the Creator, not being so long away from Him. They often see things that we miss. It is taught by the Elders, that we are to learn from them, as much as they from us.
Children are a special gift, lent to us for a short while. How we honour the gift is one measure of how we honour Him.
A child is a blend of three forces: the two biological parents who share genetic inheritance, and the Creator.
We do not own our children. They are not possessions. They are unique, wonderful expressions of the diversity (differentness) of our Creator, and His hope for our future.
Children are everyone’s responsibility, whether we are related by blood or not. If a child has a need, and we can meet that need, we have a responsibility, morally, spiritually, culturally and socially to meet their need.
The Sioux have a wonderful saying: Consider the Children, to the seventh generation. How will what I do today affect them?

Children embody the concepts of Kindness, Co-operation, Sharing, and Respect, just by existing.

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Disclaimer: The information on this site (http://www.bpd411.org) is based on personal experiences of the authors and members of our e-mail mailing list. It is NOT meant to replace professional advice or take the place of counseling, therapy or additional personal research.