BPD411 Resources

This page is essentially the table of contents for our site. It is being updated regularly, check back often to see what’s new.

It contains contributions from ourselves and our email mailing list support group members. These pages are designed to help you understand BPD and more particularly how the disorder affects you, the Non.

Once you have a clearer understanding of how BPD affects the person who has it, and how it may or already has affected you, you may then have the skills and resources needed to set healthier boundaries, make more effective choices, and continue to heal from the effects the influence of this disorder has had on you.

This page is NOT for those suffering from the disorder. Although not intended to be unkind, far from it, many of the topics here may trigger feelings of abandonment in those suffering from traits of the disorder.

If this list of topics feels overwhelming, you may prefer a more structured approach provided by the Path to a Brigher Future.

Getting Started

• Getting Started
• Mailing List Guidelines
• Information on BPD411 Organization
• Definitions of Community Terms
• Land of Oz Metaphor
• Mission Statement
• Our Basic Beliefs
• The Non Mantra
• Contact Us
• Setting up an Anonymous EMail Account

Safety

• Maintaining Safety in our Community
• Domestic Violence Safety Plan
• Recognizing Abusive Behavior
• How to Stay Safe on Our Lists-anon

Understanding the Disorder

• Diagnostic Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder
• Who’s the Sick One: or How Do Therapists Tell?
• Recommended Books
• Recovery from BPD
• Double Binds, the Lose Lose Proposition
• The Holiday Crazies
• Diagnosis: why it may not happen
• Emotional Vampires
• Hoovering
• Negative Intentions - Or I Didn’t Mean it That Way
• Do They Mean It?
• Understanding the Disorder

What Can I do for the BP in My Life?

• Recovery from BPD, What are the chances?
• Medication for BPD
• (See also the Partner’s Page)

The Many Faces of BPD

• Walking on Eggshells
• The Light Bulb Effect
• Raging
• Splitting
• Black and White Thinking
• Projection: What they say about you is what they’re saying about themselves
• The Abandonment Engulfment Cycle
• Lying / Skewed Perceptions
• Chaos
• High Functioning -vs- Low Functioning BPs
• Situational Competence: Why No One Believes the Non
• BP Self Sabotage
• Tangenting and Derailing
• A Bird in the Hand

How the Disorder Affects Us:

• Guilt (New - July 2003)
• Characteristics of Nons
• Assessment as a Non- same as above in check-list format
• Abuse in the BP/NonBP Dynamic
• My Part in the Dance
• The Price of Keeping the Silence
• Mirroring
• BPD “Fleas”
• The Light Bulb Effect
• Abandonment Issues In Nons
• BPD’s everywhere
• Codependency
• Lying Nons
• Rescuing
• Caring Enough
• The BPD Wars
• The Snowball Effect
• Emotional Blackmail (New - Nov 2003)

New Skills and Resources for Nons

• The Geographic Solution
• Oxygen - The Airline Safety Metaphor
• Being in the Doghouse
• Emotional Detachement
• Detachment
• Stress and Anger Management (New - Nov 2003)

Healing and Recovery

• A Non’s Bill of Rights
• Boundaries: What are They and Why Do I Need Them?
• Modalities
• Setting Appropriate and Effective Boundaries
• Determining if you have Healthy Boundaries
• Stress and Anger Management
• Boundaries and Privacy
• Grief and Loss
• Introduction to the Healing Affirmation (New Oct 2003)
• A Non’s Healing Affirmation
• "I am a Non"
• Victims, Survivors and Staying in Kansas
• Triggers or Old Dogs Can Learn New Tricks
• The Price of Keeping the Silence

Parenting Issues

• Parenting with a BPD Partner: how to help your children
• What to Do When the Kids Drive You Crazy
• What I Wish My Parents Had Done
• The Distortion Campaign (New May 2003)

Choices for Nons

• Couples Counselling
• The Well Formed Outcome
• To a Non in Crisis
• When is Enough Enough in a Relationship? (New Nov 2003)

Separation Issues

• The Hoover: How to Recognize It and Move Forward
• Dealing with Mutual Friends

Divorce Issues

• Mediation

Learning to Live in Kansas: After You Leave Permanently

• Lightning Strikes Twice - How To Avoid a Second BP Relationship
• The Fox and the Bramble - Aesop
• Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
• Leaving Oz

Adult Children of BPD's

• An Adult Survivors Memories: Growing Up with Nada
• Growing Up With a BP Parent
• An Adult Survivor’s Perspective
• Finding Out How My World Makes Sense (New Nov 2003)

Stories, Metaphors, and Poetry

• Snowball Metaphor
• Duck Laws
• The Bridge
• The Cusp of the Cycle - When the Bottom Drops Out
• A Thought by William Stidger
• Why Do I Long For Him: Imago Theory
• Reasons and Seasons
• The Shadow of Death
• Every Day is a Monday
• Prayer of Renewal
• The Man and the Tree

Off Site References

• Partners

Humor

Warning: Some people might find some of these offensive.

• Over My Dead Body
• The Rules
• Lady the Escape Artist Dog

BPD411 Home - Services - Resources - Partners - Contact Us - Mailing List

Disclaimer: The information on this site (http://www.bpd411.org) is based on personal experiences of the authors and members of our e-mail mailing list. It is NOT meant to replace professional advice or take the place of counseling, therapy or additional personal research.

Copyright (c) 1996-2003 Turtle Island Center Family Services [1996] Incorporated More