One of the many fleas that affect many Nons are those around abandonment. This seems to be a particularly difficult issue for adult children of BP parents. While most all BPs have pretty major abandonment issues (it being the first diagnostic in the DSM traits) it’s not uncommon for Nons to also struggle with this issue. It is one of the reasons that the Hoover is so successful.
One of the best indicators of healing in Nons is when they are comfortable being with themselves and by themselves. A high need for affection and positive feedback is common among the Non population, and when BPs come along with the "high" part of the relationship, it feeds this need in the Non. This is one of the reasons that Nons are suseptible to lightning striking twice. Rushing into new relationships is not the answer to your problem relationship with your BPSO. The answer lies in working on your own issues, and owning those issues that you have. While abandonment is clearly one of the issues many Nons continue to struggle with, even after separating from a BPSO, there are other issues such as boundaries that likely need work. The characteristics of Nons is rich ground for work in a theraputic environment. Print it out and discuss it with a qualified therapist or trusted friend.
It’rsquo;s ok to be by yourself. It’s ok to be lonely for a while. Take your time and heal. Try not to pine after the death of the dream. It’s ok to hurt. It’s supposed to hurt, but you will feel better if you work on your own issues.
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