Abandonment is one of the most universal traits of someone with borderline personality disorder. In many cases, traits of bpd find their roots in early childhood. If the primary caregiver neglects, abandons or inconsistently provides for the needs of a child, this can lead to deep seated fears of abandonment that may haunt a person for the rest of their lives. In a way, they expect abandonment. After all, if their mother abandoned them, who else is going to step up to the plate and do better than their own mother. This is a deep wound of betrayal and can result in a person never having the ability to properly bond with another person.
Even people with borderline traits that had good parents feel fear of abandonment. They also fear engulfment, or the loss of self in another. Because of the reflection that is so much a part of the borderline psyche, this may be a well founded fear.
Even in the less common case where the borderline leaves the Non, this is a preemptive abandonment. Rather than be abandoned, they abandon you first.
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